I'm Done Playing: Warhammer: Vermintide 2
In which I fail to find joy in killing rats
I’m Done Playing is a feature that attempts to solve two problems: (a) I play video games long after I’ve stopped enjoying them because I want to finish them, and (b) I don’t write as often as I’d like to.
If I’d rather write something about a video game than keep playing it, it’s probably about time for me to stop playing it. And, the sense of completion from writing a blog post is enough to allow my compulsive brain to set the game down.
What is this?
You and a bunch of your buds get together and murder hordes of rats. You get classes, special abilities, loot boxes, etc. All the modern trappings of a multiplayer horde mode game. Think Left 4 Dead in a fantasy setting where the zombies are rats, and you can level up your characters.
If you’re really interested in the nitty gritty, this gentleman has a video about the whole thing:
Why’d you start playing?
Oh, I don’t know. I was bored on a Wednesday night and wanted some kind of mindless first person murder simulator. Now I have to write this to get the thing off my list.
Didn’t like it?
It’s all just so pointless. The gameplay is fine, but the core loop is extremely straightforward. You swing your sword or fire your ranged weapon over and over again while running towards the exit, and then you win. The story seems kind of cool, but since it’s all multiplayer you play the levels in a random order. It’s got a “deep” progression system, but really that’s just a series of carrots to make you feel like you’re doing anything other than wasting your time.
My life is already about doing somewhat boring tasks to make the number in my online banking go up, I don’t need another instance of that.
Wow, you really didn’t like it, huh?
The sad thing is, I kinda did. It’s nice to just mindlessly click and feel like I’m accomplishing something. Unfortunately, I’m 30 years old, and two hours of completely wasted time makes me wish I hadn’t adopted “memento mori” as a personal motto since I was in eighth grade.
So is it good or not?
Listen, I played like two hours of this game. Go watch Jeficus’s video above if you’re looking for game reviews. But yeah, if you like multiplayer games with friends, Vermintide is probably in a really sweet spot of mindless enough to allow for chatting, but interesting enough to be a fun game. I imagine it’s great for people who play games online with friends—I am not one of those people.
So you played with randos, friendless loser that you are?
Correct. And the game actually does a good job with that. You don’t have to use voice chat at all, because the in game characters all have automatic barks that call out healing potions, or when they find the way to go. Vermintide really puts in the effort to make playing with real people feel like playing with competent AI.
There’s something a little chilling about that.
It’s the natural end point of the continuous push to view our fellow humans as merely autonomous reward dispensers who can generate good vibes if you stroke them right. In Vermintide, you can ignore people’s humanity if everything is going right, and blame them when things are going wrong.
Is that the game’s thesis?
No, I think the game’s thesis is that rats are numerous and menacing, and killing them is virtuous.
That’s not much of a thesis.
Yeah, but you have to consider the role of the rat in society. They’re vermin(tide 2) that are used to describe humans we dislike. This is strange. We don’t usually call people roaches as an insult, ‘coons is restricted to weird old-timey racism, and most other vermin (carpenter ants, scorpions, wasps, etc) aren’t used to describe humans. But calling someone a “rat” is a common insult and has multiple meanings: they’re a snitch, they’re hardy and crafty (when used self-deprecatingly), or they’re Jewish (this was a Nazi propaganda tactic that has resurfaced with the recent rise in anti-semitism).
You’re saying Vermintide 2 was made by anti-semites?
No, but I have nothing really to say about the game so I’m just going to vaguely imply that it’s problematic that you kill hordes of rat people that just happen to play into anti-semitic tropes. After all, if we don’t constantly bring up racist tropes whenever anything might have a slim shot of playing into them, how will we eradicate them for good?
Hm. Let’s change the subject. Does this game pass the Bechdel test?
Yep! The sassy fire sorceress and the sassy elf rogue banter back and forth. This game actually is pretty feminist…which makes the fact it plays into anti-semetic tropes all the more disheartening.
Man, chill.
Sorry. Don’t know what came over me there.
Why’d you stop playing?
I looked at the clock and realized I had spent two hours playing a game that did nothing besides tickle my dopamine receptors. Plus, once I realized the game was full of anti-semetic tropes I couldn’t bring myself to play it any more.
Let’s wrap this up. Is it worth playing?
If you can get past the fact that the developers are literal Nazis, it’s a pretty fun multiplayer horde game. Worth checking out if you’re a fan of the genre, and you pirate it don’t support Nazis or TERFs!
Jesus, I can’t believe I’m taking the bait, but TERFs?
Yeah, man. There’s no trans people in this game either.